I may agitate for not-growing-too-deep-roots lifestyle to have a freedom of movement around the world and say that you are everything you need to go and live somewhere. Ok, ok, your suitcase may be your loyal sidekick companion (I elaborate on it here). However, I have my own soft spots and weaknesses like every human should. And mine don’t include attachment to specific places, particular things. These are not the reasons for homesickness but rather meaningful people in my life: family and friends. And these connections are one of the greatest blessings in life. Nevertheless, you have to learn to deal with some frustrations regarding these attachments when being an expat.

I am so grateful for some people that I was lucky to meet at some point and they stayed in my life until now. You may not engage with them for some time as you are miles apart living your busiest lives but when you do meet or communicate or just need their support they will always stand by your side. You are picking up exactly from the place you were when you left in your relationships with friends: just as if all those months haven’t even passed. This quite incredible feeling returned just yesterday when my friends in 4 different countries were trying to solve my life puzzle just as if it was their own. And I know that I would do the same for them at any moment – just putting almost everything aside to be there for them when they need an insight, support or advice.

Besides, your friends become expats in other countries too or move back home, and you end up having your own personal couch-surfing network. You can stay at their places and in turn show your home country or any country of your residence when they visit (it is extremely difficult to catch us at our home countries;) You discover your own location from a totally new perspective in your attempts to work as a tour guide and impress your guests.

But here is a conundrum: when you are abroad you live through so much in 1 year that you it would take you 5-7 years on a scale of being at home. The approximate formula I have derived for myself. So your experiences and the surrounding culture influence your identity and then you find yourself in a completely different place than your school and university friends. That’s incredibly confusing because it happens not due to the lack of effort towards your friendship from each side, on the contrary, you try your best to rekindle the bond you had back then - but it is more likely that external life events led to you growing apart.

The other psychological challenge you have to learn to overcome: finally saying good bye to friends you have become quite attached to over the course of your internship or master studies. After you have spent almost every day in their company during this time, the chapter is finished and not everyone is planning to stay: you will have your team scattered all over the world instead. Although the first time the realisation of it hits you the hardest, it is still quite difficult to prepare for it every time. And from what I’ve observed, people really struggle with good byes: some of them adopt avoidance strategy and pretend nothing is happening, others cry a lot and let frustration and sad feelings out.

Despite the challenges that come with creating and keeping your circle in different countries, these meaningful connections are totally worth every effort. Coming from different cultures people enrich each other on so many levels and teach you open-mindedness, acceptance and understanding. Moreover, you discover your own roots and culture from a lot of unexpected sides while sharing it with your friends. I can confidently say that amazing people you meet are one of the most valuable assets that come from your experience abroad.

Do you have friends living in other countries? How do you deal with good byes when somebody is leaving for a faraway location? How do you keep in touch to sustain friendship? Share special tips from your experience below.