Probably, most of you have heard of the “culture shock“ phenomenon when people endure immense stress adapting to traditions of another culture. However, today I am going to tell you about the opposite effect – “reverse culture shock“ when it is difficult to integrate into the life of your home country after a long time of being abroad. I hadn’t heard of this concept before I had to experience it myself – already twice: after my time in Germany and England. I have to say that each time it doesn’t get easier, but, on the contrary, it gets only worse. You actually develop some kind of resistance to “culture shock” but reverse culture shock overwhelms you times more: not only have you changed over the course of time abroad so that your own family doesn’t recognize you but you are also morally unprepared for the changes in your home environment that happened while you were away.

The most interesting part is that at first routine insignificant details drive you mad.  After Germany I couldn’t get used to the transport not coming on time. I got really irritated when I couldn’t plan my time by minutes from the moment I leave home. After England I had to deal with chaotic queues not formed in a straight line. People appearing from all possible sides caused panic attacks for some time. English people have a thing about queues and sometimes it seemed to me that they form a queue for the purpose of a queue and not for something at the end of it. How surprised I was when “a thing about queues” became a part of me.

I will list the aspects that caused the most difficulties during “reverse culture shock” after England because they are still fresh in my memory:

    1. Politeness of English people and their inclination to apologize even when the  smallest inconvenience happens doesn’t go well with Russian reality.

Once I opened a door and almost knocked a painter off his ladder. I started to apologize but he said that he put the ladder here intentionally and I shouldn’t apologize as I couldn’t see anything behind the door. How could I object that? There is no reason behind politeness in England – just established manners. I guess he waited to be told off for putting the ladder here – that would be more common in Russia.

As for business correspondence, I noticed that my writing is too filled with polite words and it looks quite pompous compared to straightforwardness of my Russian colleagues. You have to beat around the bush in British correspondence before you ask somebody to do a task. “Too much ado about nothing”, you say? This British technique of writing emails helped me to establish relationships with the British team of marketers that went extra mile to help me in stressful situations. In Russia I had adapt letters to a completely different style to be effective in professional communication.

    2. Traditions of greetings and goodbyes in Russia turned out to be a total surprise for me, that is putting it mildly.

I didn’t expect culture shock in this sphere as:

a) I grew up in this environment and it should have been a part of socialization.

b) Our culture is closer to European and we are not expected to bow as, for example, in Japan.

c) My communication was mostly informal so I was not expected to curtsy in front of the Queen .

However, when I tried to shake hands when meeting a man or hug people after pleasant time together at a party as I have been doing it for the last 5 years, it caused the same reaction as if a French tried to kiss 4 times a Japanese person, God forbid, the Queen (you cannot approach her closer that 3 meters away). Bewildered by these moments, I understood that my main active socialization happened outside of my country and I absorbed major social norms being in the international environment. (You can read more on this topic in my previous post).

    3. While living abroad for a long time, you start to forget a lot of Russian words. This phenomen is called “language attrition” or “partial loss of control over a native language by a speaker”.

This phenomenon doesn't depend on the native environment but it definitely multiplies the effect of reverse culture shock. You just forget trivial words in Russian and ,not being able to find the answer in hidden corners of your brain, try to explain it in any other language, then with other words (as in the board game “Alias“ when you cannot use words of the same root) and then just with gestures  This is exactly how I tried to find a tape measure at work which made my colleagues laugh quite hard.

I developed my own proved psychological techniques that help to overcome reverse culture shock. I will share them in one of my following posts.

To which aspects of Russian reality was it harder for you to get used to after being some time abroad? Have you experienced reverse culture shock yourself?